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To prevent the song from playing when you load a track, enable auto cue by pressing and holding the auto cue button - you'll see A.CUE appear in the display. The menu setting you're talking about is basically whether the track is a single play or continuous, that's independent of the auto cue.
Having quantize enabled is what is making the hot cues not fire instantly - they will launch on-beat with the grid. If you disable the quantize, hot cues will trigger whenever you hit the button.